Heart, to love.. To feel, to appreciate and also to belong all of these thoughts go through her heart, or the emotional center of our brain.. The hormone level, how much oxytocin is currently being secreted and tons of other factors define your respone and condition and likely replies. Everyone says I have a big heart, I care for everybody and etc.. And I don’t have a big heart, but I like to help anyone as soon as I can, I have a tiny miniature heart.. It doesn’t matter how big your heart is or how good your thoughts are, if those are only thoughts in bedroom in the shelter of the four walls and inside your bedsheets with eyes closed,those thoughts are gonna crumble and take a lot of space, and any human has had more thoughts than there are possible elements in the whole observable universe, so yeah, no matter how big your heart is.. If you keep things inside, away from prying eyes or just cause youre scared about what will people think or say, or you’re just scared that it won’t be good enough.. It’s gonna fill you up, and then you won’t be able to breathe or feel the same way you used to.. Your heart is now clogged.
A clogged heart is worse than a broken one, a broken one hurts, it demands to be felt, it makes you feel pain, sorrow and also happiness with memories, it feels, it’s in a million pieces even, but you can still gather them all and make a new one.. Just to have it broken again and repeat it all your life, that’s life. A clogged heart doesn’t feel it takes up space and won’t let anything through it you may lay out a million logics and keep reminding yourself, like you’re a good guy, you can love, you have the confidence to do better, and endless such feelings and even a million other people can remind you everyday, but you won’t believe it, as it won’t reach your heart it’ll go all happy and excited and then hit that wall and just fall, vanish among millions and millions of thoughts we have, have another thought, maybe some romantic feelings for your loved ones.. Same.. Hit and fall, have a worst one, a family member dies.. Same.. Hit and fall, believe me.. I had a clogged heart, i was there i witnessed inability to cry and feel, I have seen a puppy die in front of my eyes, and I didn’t bat an eye, a monster 🙂 I’m..
So what to do? Well, it’s difficult to live like this, nearly impossible and I had to do something, so I did the worst thing we can do to ourselves.. Break our own heart :), it sounds so easy but hearts don’t break in an instant it takes time, trust is broken, harsh words, situations and so many things.. Idk when I learned to break my heart in an instant and move on like nothing happened and smile.. I too wanted a big large heart, a miniature heart would look cute but which girl would like to go with me with such a tiny heart.. :P, I lived out of such insane thinking, the last time I broke my heart instead of collecting it all together and making it the same as it was, I collected all the pieces and cleaned them thoroughly, scrubbing with force.. Bleeding all the time and then I compressed it, put them all together and pressed them with all my might and then folded them as much as I could and repeated the process, it took me a while, now I have a really tiny heart, and I don’t know where it will take me but it’s worth the risk.
So here I am, with a real tiny heart and a wicked smirk on my face, I don’t let anything stay inside, leave no thought left unsaid, be open be frank.. Be weird 😛 *