Its 4 am, I am staring at my computer, looking on the internet.. trying to find something on the internet to keep me going.
I am not bored, I am not sleepless. I am just scared to close my eyes, as there would be a downpour of thoughts I never wanted to feel or think of again.
I am not lonely.. I am not depressed.. I am just me.
I grab my things, which is basically my phone,my earphone and my wallet. Maybe.. the outside will have something for me, something intriguing that could help me think otherwise.
I walked.. it was silent as it could be. nobody in sight, not a dog.. or a cow.. or any human/living presence.
The road was wet, mixed with mud.. there was only echoes of my footsteps..
I kept walking, I didnt know where to go.. I just knew, If I got really tired, Ill rest a little and then start walking home.
As I walked, the cold wind, brushed my skin.. and I had a shiver down my spine.
I, like any other human, had a feeling that something or someone was following me and is gonna slit my neck open and drink it like its potion of invulnerability.
The Shiver wasnt cause of any supernatural occurrence around me, it was just me, scared of going back to where I came from..
I love my room, its awesome.. its made just for me.. everything in close reach.. my computer ( ROG Series B| ), A few charging points, my small aquarium for usual glancing, and everything else.. Yet sometimes I feel suffocated there.. I am still.. I am not moving forward, Staring at a screen.. just like right now.. mind filling up with thoughts, heart empty with just void.
But, I had to go back there sometime.
I kept walking, As I didnt wanna be scared of whatever was following me :O, I plugged in my earphones as played my playlist at full volume.. I love the feeling of it.. its like logging out of the world for a while, you cant listen to anyone, they cant listen to what you are hearing, and it just feels awesome, to live in another world with your eyes open.
I kept walking, after a while I was tired.. it was time to back.. the energy i had at the start was now reduced to zero.. I realized.. Right Now.. I had no where to go.. I could only go home.. but at the same time, thats not the place i Belong, I made it for me..
“ The storyteller may fall silent, the music may cease, but the story will not end. Be it tragedy or comedy, as long as there is applause, the story will not end. It is just like the multitude of human lives. Warm blessings to we who were not rewarded, and we who are still on our way. Our travels continue on”.
I have no storyteller, the music had already ceased playing in my heart a long while ago.. and I ripped apart my story, cause I wasnt happy with it.
For right now, I am void, I can be anything I can be anyone. All I need is a pen to etch down my name in history, make a story that makes me the happiest. Not caring about the critics, or the audience I’ll have. I am gonna write my own script and make my own movie.
I am gonna bring myself to life. A life worth living :).